Welcome to the Sistahs After God's Heart blogsite- You are not alone. We are at war with the devil. We are ladies who have decided to be in the world yet not of the world. We are not perfect and mistakes have been made. We are here to support each other and provide a strong system of Sistahs dealing with sexual impurity, dating as a christian, self-esteem issues, raising children, marriage, homosexuality and more.

Why Aren't Our Women Getting Married?

25 March 2010

Today, while perusing the net, I found a startling statistic:

“According to 2009 U.S. Census Bureau reports, black females ages 35 to 44 are the only American women in their child-bearing years with lower marriage rates than men of the same race or ethnicity.”
 – Cindy George, The Houston Chronicle


This is very sad. Of course, I know and can observe with my own two eyes that there are more and more single mothers, broken homes and failed marriages than ever before. Why is this? I don't have an answer but of course, I have my theories (...)


1. Media Influence
The media plays a huge part on our thought processes, whether we know it or not. We see more and more single women engaging in coutless sex acts with single (and sometimes married) men. These women on the tv screens are portrayed as independent, and liberal in their thinking. We see them enjoy a fun-loving night of intimacy and closeness but what the tv screen doesn't show us is what follows. Yes, sex is fun and beautiful, but after the 6 second climax, what comes next? Well, if he is not your husband, the only thing that comes next is emptiness and confusion. (well, I did B.C. but times have changed)

2. Technology
My, my, my we have come a long way. Cell phones, texting, internet chatting, online dating, Skype, Twitter, Myspace, Facebook, Second Life... you name it, you can probably find it ANYWHERE on the net. As we advance technologically, one thing I have noticed is that people are forgetting how to communicate face-to-face. Everything is "instant" and people want instant gratification. We have forgeotten how to date, how to love and how to bond with people. We have chosen the "instant gratification" of finding a mate online and building an relationship with the person that is portrayed to us through our computer screens. The devil lives in technology people!

3. The Cycle Continues
Growing up, I had an aunt who conceived a child by a married man, a daughter in fact. This man filled my aunt's head with empty promises, broken dreams and countless nights of 6-second gratification. What did she get out of the "relationship" after all was said and done? A daughter and a baby-daddy that was nowhere to be found. Now, I know it's sad that this man deserted his child but look deeper sistahs! Auntie should NEVER have been sleeping with a married man in the first place. She disrespected herself by allowing herself to be some man's outlet when things weren't going quite as planned within his marriage. She also deprived her daughter of having a relationship with her father by her own selfish decisions.

But it didn't stop there, as her daughter grew older, my aunt would warn her about how men were "no good" and to "take 'em for all he's got." This was something she fed her daughter until she was 15 years old, and got pregnant with her first child. You see where I'm going with this. The sycle continues and until someone breaks that cycle... well....

What do YOU think ladies? What are YOUR theories and reasons why so many black women aren't getting married these days? Feel free to comment!

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